On Lenten promises and activity stickers

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, the pre-Easter season. It is tradition for Christians who observe Lent to choose a Lenten sacrifice, most often manifested as giving up chocolate, soda, sugar, coffee, etc.

When I was going to Catholic grade school, they encouraged us to be more proactive about our Lenten sacrifices, instead calling them "Lenten promises." That's been my MO in recent years - choosing to be more patient with friends, more hard-working, etc. This year, however, I waited until the last possible minute to choose a Lenten sacrifice - yet another side-effect of my crisis in faith over the last six or seven months. Yesterday, I tentatively decided to give up diet coke, one of my happy treats.

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I'm attempting to embark on a healthier lifestyle - 8.6 lbs lost in five weeks, by the way! My better half has lost 33 pounds since November by working out and following a somewhat strict diet plan. I promised Jordan I would go work out with him last night - something I've been planning to do for weeks. I got out of going on Tuesday because I had killer stomach pains, likely a lingering symptom from over-indulging on Saturday evening. As I waffled and pouted over going to work out, I was reminded of feelings I've had earlier in this process. Rather than pouting and feeling sorry for myself, I needed to really examine the reasons for continuing this process and to make a concrete commitment.

I decided to return to the premise of Lenten promises rather than trivial Lenten sacrifices. Motivated by the biblical principle of the body as a temple (a philosophy that fits well for all belief systems), I decided to love my body and to do something nice for it - I've made a commitment to work out on a regular basis. I'm not sure what form this will take - right now, my goal is working out enough to legitimately earn the activity bonus stickers at my Weight Watchers meetings. I made it through my first round with Weight Watchers (reference post linked above) without setting foot in a gym once. I can't help but feel like, if I had cultivated the habit of working out, I would have had a better time sustaining my weight loss. Since starting WW this time, I've made small, more-active changes in my schedule, such as only taking the stairs at work in the library, walking across campus instead of driving, and parking further away. I feel like these, while healthy habits, are cop-out activities. I've never raised my hand in a WW meeting this time for an activity sticker. If these middle-aged women in my meetings can join Zumba classes, hike around their neighborhood, or schedule sessions with a personal trainer, why can't I take advantage of my own gym-aficionado fiance (who is totally addicted to working out at this point)?

We started on the elliptical. I asked Jordan how I should program it - after a short consultation, we decided on 22 minutes, level three, calorie burner setting. I plugged in headphones borrowed from him, scoured the on-machine television guide for a workout-appropriate television show, and finally decided on Throwdown (Boston Cream Pie edition) with Bobby Flay. About six minutes in, I felt like I was in trouble - my heart rate was at 170 (a quick glance at Jordan's machine showed his HR in the 115-range), my chest felt tight, and I was terrified of a heart attack or stroke. I teared up some, and glanced at Jordan, who looked alarmed. I pulled off my headphones. "Is my heart rate normal? What's up with this?" He glanced down at my machine, looked at me with a bit of surprise, and said "well, maybe a bit..." I teared up some more and said "well, maybe I'll just go to fifteen minutes instead of twenty-two."

I decreased my pace - a couple of times, the machine told me to speed up - and powered through. My heart rate went into the 150s and I felt more in charge of the elliptical. Ten or fifteen minutes later, I had finished the complete 22 minute session. Jordan and I hightailed it to the target heart rate range posters across the gym - my HR was, as I suspected, in the high range of the target zone (hello, I'm significantly overweight and haven't been on the elliptical in about four years). I asked Jordan about his 115-heart rate. His reply? "Oh yeah, I don't know what's up with that. I think that machine's broken - my HR is usually in the 150s." I've had a lot of health-motivated freak-outs recently - last semester, I convinced myself I was having a heart attack every night and made the doctors at MTSU give me an EKG and run a full health panel. I'm filing this experience away as more of the same.

We continued with weights - I specifically wanted to focus on training my arms. I pulled Jordan away from his own workouts to show me the ropes - we couldn't decide what would work my arms better, so I did some preacher curls on a Nautilus (part of a circuit system), some free weights, and a rowing machine. At the last minute, I added some sit-ups (they are much easier to do on one of those sit-up bench thingies) and waited for Jordan to finish his weight-lifting regime. Seasoned work out vets, if you have any insight on best routine elements for me, let me know in the comments or through a private message via facebook!

I felt energized and accomplished afterward. While my body felt physically exhausted, my mind was alert. I went home and, craving veggies and protein, ate some low-fat cottage cheese on a bed of lettuce. I also had a small piece of pizza left over from the Sloans' dinner, but that's not really germane to this story.....

After the workout last night, I have no problem raising my hand for an activity sticker at meeting this week. I earned that little footprint.

Learning to Like Veggies Again...

...Green Giant helps.

Some of you (a select few) may know that I started Weight Watchers on Saturday. This is a big step for me, as I've done Weight Watchers in the past (with huge success - I lost a total of 61 pounds). I was nearly within twenty-five pounds of my goal weight, and looked like this:

I pre-paid for nine weeks. NINE WEEKS. That's a commitment. Over half a semester! It was a great deal - I would have had to pay a $10 joining fee, then $12 a week, but, on this plan, they waived the joining fee and I'm only paying $11/ week (and all at once, not spread out each week).

I'm at home with my parents in Nashville tonight and Mom decided to cook dinner - she had a frozen pasta and veggie mix (7 points on new WW PointsPlus, 4 points on the old Points system - we figured it up, just out of curiosity) and a Green Giant veggie package. I had a cup of pasta and vegetables, and a cup of the vegetable mix - around three servings of vegetables, total. My meal was over half vegetables.

I had a sort of break-through while eating that meal. I was feeling sorry for myself last night, wailing and weeping (literally) over my perceived misfortune at choosing to commit myself to relearning how to live and eat at this point in my life. I went out to Taco Bell and got a beef taco and pintos and cheese just because I could. This is not necessarily a bad thing - It was only a seven point meal, but it was the defiance that I really enjoyed. Hell yeah, I'm gonna eat Taco Bell. Screw you, Weight Watchers!

While eating my meal tonight, I realized that this is LITERALLY the first time since I quit weight Watchers that I've had a meal that was over 50% vegetables, let alone nearing 75%. And, let me tell you, I was full afterwards.

I had lunch today with a prospective caterer at the City Cafe in Nashville. I ate delicious tilapia, mashed potatoes, and a corn cake. After tonight's dinner, I still have 18 points left. 18 points! That's enough for dessert several times over, if I decide I want it. I am super pleased and remembered why I lost sixty pounds on WW back in 2005. Their plan works and, with commitment from me (as with anything in life), I almost never felt like I was denying myself. I hope I'm good enough to remember how good WW has been to me and can leave the "feeling sorry for myself" antics behind.